happy mothers' day

i am in the midst of doing my very last coursework here.
but i suddenly thought of one thing.
my mind shifted from individual evaluation coursework to the conversation me and my sister had yesterday night.
i actually told her i am not very sure if i want kids in the future.
ppl who knew me since years ago will be very surprised by this statement of mine. so am i.

well.. if i really do get married next time maybe i will really consider having kids but since i am bf-less right now... kids are just... nuisance to me in a way. haha. as much as i love to carry them and watch them cry/laugh and hear them coo... i also dislike to be faced with the fact that this human being will be stuck with me for my whole life. even though maybe there will come a point when they dont even wanna see me or be associated with me.. i think i will still want them to stick with me. this is the thing about mothers.

i was listening to radio - my mum's favorite channel 89.3 ai fm - the other day.. and the programme was about mums in dilemma calling in and blab about their kids and heed dj's advice or something like that la.. one of them said something like this..:

my son is very forgetful!.. everytime also forget to bring pencils and schoolbooks. even if i buy one whole box of pencils for him, he always comes back with nothing. i seriously dont understand how he can lose the whole box of pencils and when i ask him he cannot answer me as well. i everynight remind him to bring whatever whatever books to school but he always forgets and the book will still remain on the study table the next morning.

sounds familiar? i dont know bout all of u.. but i know.. THIS WAS SO ME LAST TIME!..haha my mum really wanted to strangle me last time for my frequent forgetfulness and carelessness that she really JUST DOESNT UNDERSTAND why i can really forget!.. i mean.. i was so young, my mind cant be that occupied right?!
seriously if i am faced with such situation in the future i may appear in tomorrow's headlines for killing my child. haha.. not that bad la.. but still.. hmm..

hehe.. anyway.. i do not know the reason why but these few months i have been observing the antics of kids and their mums when i am out. and also i have been thinking alot lately why should we have kids apart from the fact that they are going to take care of us in the future but this seems not the case anymore bcos.. the new generation seems to be drifting further and further away from their parents. :p

looking back on what i've done and how my mum handled my upbringing really amazes me to no end actually. seriously.. i think not many woman can do what my mum did for her children and i am deaD sure that i can never do or sacrifice things the way she did just for the 3 of us.

i still remember when my school life took off in december 1993.. when i was in Ampang's Sekolah Sri Inai standard 1... i had to wake up super early in the morning at 6.30.. then be carried into the living room and be attended to the ever ready breakfast on the table..then be donned on ironed uniform.. then be carried into the car.. then be carried into the class to my seat. after dropping us off in school, she'd drive all the way back to Jinjang and work work work and at around 3 she would drive all the way back to ampang again to fetch us home. all these were done by my mother singlehandedly..

then when college comes, she still fetches me to college. she kept on telling me that she really thought that her work was done after i finish secondary.. but NO..... she still has to get into chauffeur position to fetch the little princess to school. but seriously.. i told her a million times before that i'd get myself to school by driving to the lrt station bla bla bla. but after all these yrs.. she still insist on fetching me to college's doorstep. ESPECIALLY after my story on the alleged blind man i encountered in the lrt.. yea.. after i told her bout it.. she was like "erg!.. no! i think i better fetch u to college next time no matter how busy i am.. or call someone else to fetch u!".. I FELT SUPER TOUCHED WHEN I HEARD THAT!.. driving to KL is not a very fun thing to do also ok!... especially in the morning on Jln Kuching. but she still insists on going through the war everymorning to get me to college safely.

not to mention even after all these yrs.. even her youngest child is 20yrs old... she still does most of the house chores herself after a long day at work. my siblings always blame it on their tiredness from work when they fail to do house chores but i think it's all bull.. bcos if my mum can do it.. why can't they?... plus.. my mum wakes up at 5.30 am and sleeps at 12.. who is the tired one?

thinking back on my kiddy days.. i - as my cousins and siblings have witnessed - was beaten and scolded by my mum alot. yea.. that was how my mum handled childish kids.. but until now i really don't mind that those beatings happened and i would never change it for anything else! because i believe that was what that made me who i am today... though there were some traits of my mum's that i dislike kao kao.. but still.. no mum is perfect!... so i accept her shortcomings the way she accepts mine because i will only have one mum in my whole life and that is her and i am stuck with her.. so i have to accept her la. just as one would when they get married i guess.. when u are stuck with that man... u gotta accept and compromise.

though sometimes i can feel quite jealous towards my sister because i really feel empty when i see how my mum sayang her and how proud she is of mk.. but i believe... she also cares for me and am proud of me as much but just in a different way that... i.... did not even notice and took everything for granted.. and let the jealousy blind my eyes. i guess one really has to look back and remember the things their mum said to them instead of their siblings.

but lucky my mum.. she has a daughter who remembers every single thing she did..
- rushed to wangsa maju to buy my car number plate WMW 8523
- made my dad to buy me a car.
- hugged me with tears of joy in her eyes when i got my SPM results.. though it wasnt that good but it was the best that her children has ever obtained. 6 As?
- bought 2 cameras for me without saying NO...not like someone whom i have to beg day and night, up and down, left and right
- allowing me to have more freedom than mk did.. maybe it's bcos she is prettier that's why she gets lesser freedom. wtf!
- makes me breakfast every morning.
- telling me dont even think of obtaining an A/B/C... pass is enough for my degree exams.
- fetched me to the clinic and waited for hours there with me when i was in hell...
- last but not least... still teasing me on that stupid 'thank u' phonecall we had to make to our mothers in Kem motivasi Form 3.. i wailed like a sea lion who lost her mother. she can't stop talking bout it!

anyway.. she will be going to shanghai today and she wont be at home until 20 something May... hmm.. have to eat out everyday. i am going to be the fattest pig ever. but nevertheless i am very happy that she can finally go shanghai!... she has been talking bout going there but never really took the initiative to plan the trip. but oh well.. someone already took the initiative and somewhat forced my mum to go with her.. it's good for my mum. and i wish her all the best there and i am gonna misssss her...

~i love my mum~

i know this is not a very nice picture of her. but this is just to show my friends that she is not as fierce as u think... she is actually very naughty.