.2008 birthday post.

I finally reached the big 2-0!

Not that I am exactly very happy and cant wait to be in my twenties though… I still miss 19 and I am sure that my 19^th yr is one of the best ever… YET!

I still want the number 1 on my age…

But it is time to embark on a new journey through life n say bye teenage life!!

I think… this is only the beginning of life. The beginning of a new life to be exact! There are so many things I have to think about my future, and so many things u have to do so that ppl do treat u as a 20yr old n not someone stuck in their teenage years. And not to mention, in my opinion the best things happen when u are in ur twenties because if u are lucky enough, u get married, have first child and.. yea.. many other things.

I used to tease my friends who have already turned 20 “oohh.. lucky I am still 19.. my age still not headed with a 2”…. That was then.

But I guess turning 20 is not so bad, it gives me a chance to turn over a new leaf and to start a new chapter in my life especially around now, I am gonna stop studying soon and start looking for job… but not b4 a trip to Australia!!! (YES!.. this will be the first time I am going overseas alone. Even I have never been to Singapore alone.)

Not really sure what to expect when I go out into the real world. In fact I am quite scared of the things that are going to befall on me because I guess I know myself too well that I am not sure what myself is capable of. Right now what I think of myself is someone who is

- Not ready and scared of being criticized

- Always thinking myself is correct

- Just won’t do things that I don’t feel good doing

- Going to spend more than I earn.

- Let go and give up when the first signs of problems arise.

- Fights back and always wanna have the last say.

Ok... I don’t need anyone of u to agree with me on these traits. That is seriously the last thing I need. I mean I have been so protected and manja-ed all these while that I may not know what I have done wrong. Even though my mum nags and scolds me once in a while. But she just scolds me too much that every single scolding she does will go in one ear and out the other because I’ve made myself think that she just wants to shout… let her la. And because of such thinking, I never take what she nags seriously. This is the problem of scolding ur kid too much. So never do it!...

i am still quite confused with my decisions on what to do after exams actually.

WORK?

Even though I keep saying that I need to look for job bla bla bla. But seriously I just don’t think I am quite ready to face the real world. Most of my college mates are already sending in resumes and going for interviews. They are really serious about it and have taken steps to get jobs. But me?... still at home blogging away. Wtfh.

STUDY?

This is the only option other than working and… I just don’t feel like studying! The sleepless nights and the rush for courseworks just makes me wanna vomit. Although there are ways to curb sleepless nights and last minute cws, but I just cant make myself to improve on that area!!!...

The easiest way is to work at my dad’s company actually.

Perks:

1. Don’t have to rush for work every morning
2. you get credit card and a car automatically
3. nobody would really dare to scold you
4. get quite high pay as not many degree holders work in the company
5. Home’s toilet just steps away.
6. I am helping my mum to lose some burden

Drawbacks:

1. hard to meet a boyfriend
2. I don’t think I can ever learn to be a better person
3. afraid of being pampered too much
4. not exactly a new world as I am still in my comfort zone.

…mind boggling…

Or should I really go Singapore to work? Even that sounds so far and distant. But I am very sure of one thing. Never try never know!

OK... THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A BDAY POST…

Not sure if I am going to write another post on 20 fun things to do for a 20 yr old. Hehe 19 and 20 almost the same anyway. Its not like there’s a huge bridge. I am not sure why am I making a huge hoo hah bout 20 yr old. But just to remind myself… I am at the peak of my youth right now. I shall appreciate this moment and live the life of a young adolescent before it is too late! But at the same time, I gotta take charge of my own life and not leave shit for others to clean.

I think I have gone through quite a lot this yr. with my degree programme, the super high level of stress bcos this is almost like a degree crash course and the fact that my diploma was super easy and simple didn’t help much as well. And yes…. High level of stress = highly over-productive oil glands = pimples = ugly = sad = eat more = fat = criticism = sad-er = low confidence = ignorance bcos I don’t give a fucking damn. Haha.. I am actually thinking should I put a picture of me and my pimples. Bcos when I told Rachel and Krystal that i have pimples growing here and there on my face, they were like.. sure boh?... haha.. but now… lesser d so.. I will enclose 2 pictures here. Though these are not the worst photos but yea… let u all take a look lo. (yea yea.. the pictures u see on facebook/friendster these few months are alllllll edited)

Dated March 9thdated April 21st

And yea… I have gained so much weight that people who looked quite big previously now look thin standing beside me. Wtf.

Anyway.. this is the first yr where I just wanna have a quiet and happy birthday with my family and cousins (since most of my jimuis are not here…hmph!). I am not hoping for any surprises or parties or dinner at noisy restaurants. I just wanna have fun. And with this… me and my sister (her bday falls on 11^th May) are going to celebrate our milestones together by singing our hearts out in green box… unlucky spectators are our girl cousins and a friend. I seriously do not want any presents but nonetheless I really appreaciate the present from Evonne and BeeLi… THANK U SO DAMN MUCH. And evonne, I cant say sorry and thank u enough.. haha.. I promise I will bring my hp wherever I go.

late night delivery - present from Evonne and BeeLi

As for my parents, I don’t think I want any presents or angpaus from them (yea.. right..) I am happy and content enough that they actually allow me to go Australia myself. That is the best gift a girl can ever get – not even LV or Coach bags can ever substitute that. And as for my brother, the only present I ever wanna get is less noise and less disturbance. Thank u very much.

I really miss being 19….. I cant help it. It’s like.. once it is gone.. it will never come back and it seriously will NEVER come back. :’(

But I think this is the thing when one has a very fun and special yr. I guess I should just look forward and be grateful that I had such a fantastic yr. especially the beginning as i was "SURPRISE.... YOU ARE 19!"

my 19th birthday - a big THANK YOU to all my jimuis and hengdais for that wonderful surprise birthday dinner and all my college mates who took time out to celebrate this joyous occasion with me and 2 other lengzais and my family who splurged on that expensive dinner just for me and mk.

And here’s to brighter, fun-filled, prosperous, money abundance, happy, peaceful, smooth-skin, slim and beautiful future… HAPPY 20^TH BIRTHDAY to myself.

18 yrs ago

1 yr ago

around 1 month ago

Ps. Speaking of which, why teenagers are called teenagers and why teenagers range from 13-19 yrs old? I suddenly thought of a maybe answer. Because thirTEEN to nineTEEN numbers have a TEEN behind… hahaha… hence.. TEENagers. Teens = teenagers, twenties = twentagers. Haha.. ok. .cut the crap.