instincts and coindences

i trust alot on instincts and coincidences...

i trust my own instincts...

i trust on things that happen around me...

4 YRS AGO.. i finally got together with someone i like after a yr plus of blushes and tears.. i was SUPER DUPER HAPPY.. my gfs and my sister supported me sooo much!.. and they praised me for my bravery.. cause..

i couldnt stand it anymore, i have to tell him that i like him.. so i accumulated my guts and courage to call him up and tell him about my feelings.. i still remember it so clearly..

i sent an sms to him to ask if he is free
he said.. no.. but he will call me later..
i was talking to loris on the phone n she kept on asking me this question "u sure ah?.. u sure u wanna do it?... " then.. HE CALLED... both of us screamed...!!

so i answered his call..
bla bla bla.. then i told him i like him.. then he was like.. "ok....".. i also told him that i don need him to give me any response or anything.. i just wanna let him know..

then... fine.. he really did not give much response.. good also la...
then i continued playing my game... smiling.. each time i think about what i just did.. no regrets whatsoever... then 5 hours later he called.... then he told me.. he liked me as well.. WHAT THE HELL... then he asked me to be his gf!... bla bla.. and the rest .. as they say is history...

what prompted me to do it?..

instincts and coincidences...

i dunno why... he left school for a few months d... but i still have strong feelings for him.. and i REALLY REALLY wanna tell him... and also.. wherever i went.. and whoever i met.. they say the same thing.. "TELL THEM BEFORE ITS TOO LATE".. they don know whats going on in my life.. but i was suddenly faced with all these statements..

my sister said.. maybe its bcos.. these statements have been around all this while, u just din pay attention to it bcos u din feel the need to confess..

well maybe..... but i dunno.. i think it's God's will..

the reason i am posting this up is because.. i am .. again. .thrown into a situation where .. wherever i go, whoever i meet.. says the same thing.. "use ur eyes to see ppl clearly, don get together already only regret".. well .. i guess u all should know who i am thinking about when they say this right?.... this guy is definitely not the lucky guy i mentioned above..

my friends have all told me the same thing... which i can sum up as.. "be careful, just follow ur heart"...

and today.. an aunt of mine from singapore.. who of course doesnt know bout who i like.. suddenly throw me this phrase.. "when u choose bfs/husband, use ur eyes to see carefully... if u are unlucky, it will be a disaster!"

then my dad's clerk... "if u cant see a future with him then stop wasting ur time.. this is really the time to think about what u want in the future, if u always wanna have fun and get into a relationship and break up after that, pls dont... u will get bored and tired that u dont even wanna love anymore"

so true...

i really cant see a future with him
i know he is not the type that i want for a husband
i know i just wanna have fun with him
i know even if we get together.. it wouldn't even last a yr..
i wanted our relationship to be just a fling and nothing more
i kept on telling myself that i cant like anyone else bcos the right one has not appeared to whisk me away to happyland yet.. but seriously.. with only him infront of my eyes.. even the most potential Mr. Right may just blink-and-u-missed-it...

i am not in desperate need of a bf.. and i don think bf is what i really want right now.. but .. it just.. pains... and.. hurts.. and i dunno... so draggy.. am so sick of this on/off/on/on/off/off/on crush..

i hate his attitude
i hate whatever that comes out from his mouth (even the sweetest word)
i hate his thinking
i hate his nonchalant ways..
i hate the way he makes feel downright stupid
i hate his lame jokes
i hate how he perceives me

u know why i hate them all?.. bcos i care alot!

i seriously dunno what freaking power he has over me!... just an extra bit of care from him.. i go crazy and happy.. and i will jump around like a bunny.. (hey.. it rhymes!)

sometimes i think its my stubbornness that got me to this situation..i cant stop fighting for what i want.. cause.. what i want is the only thing infront of me.. i cant accept other ppl anymore.. n it hurts when i have to stop going for what i want bcos.. it appears to be not beneficial after all the work and toil.

so the conclusion of the story is.. listen to ur own instincts.. if u know u will hate it.. and if u know there is no happy fairytale ending.. then pls terminate ur plan..

and... listen to what ur friends say.. at the end of the day.. seriously, its not what u think, its what ur friends think, cause ... they seriously dont want u to get hurt... krystal.. correct or not?

if u listen to urself... seriously.. u wont make the wisest decision cause.. u always think that u wont get hurt because.. u make urself think so.. u are too afraid to think what lies ahead.. n u will always say these words.. "dunno ah.. see la!.."

fine... whatever...
everything is going to be ok in the end..
if it is not ok.. its not the end..
everyone has their own happy ending.. it really depends on how u lead ur life!..