what do u want to be in the future?

i was hit with this easy yet simple question today...

Nescafe kickstart cruiser dropped by college today and this girl called us to fill up forms and in return... we will get a file OR a notepad.. cheapskate ppl... So.. i asked her "do u have a pen?".. the girl who was 2 'nescafe kickstart' pens said.. "yes..! we have it." so i asked "is it for us?" she replied "oh no no no... we lend to u only".. -_-"... oh so this is how they save money to sponsor winners of the kickstart program RM 30,000.00

then joey asked "why cannot give us pens wan?" she replied "cause.. if 10,000 fill in the form, then we need to give out 10,000 pens!?".. swee ann gave a true SEGi-education-fair-flyer-distributor answer... "CHEH!.. pens very cheap oni ma!"... then i dunno what the girl say already.. the conclusion is.. they all CHEAPSKATE!

i hate myself. i tend to get carried away.. what was the topic again..?

=)

anyway.. the title of this post is the first question that were asked in the form....

i was thinking.. "err.. this is hard"... but its definitely not my problem cause... even Miss Joey Khoo asked me back.. "eh.. Mei Wen, what do i wanna be in the future?.. i dunno la.."

seriously if it was 10 years back... i would write TEACHER without giving myself 2 seconds of thought! but now?.. when i have ventured far into my future... i become more unsure...

why is this?

is it the assignments that have got to me?

is it the clashes between my wants and my mum's wants that set me back?

is it me who thinks that i understand a lot about myself that i doubt myself that i can do it?

is it my stubbornness in getting 'who' i want that i forget everything else that really matters?

don't think all of u can understand these questions that i am throwing at myself..
life is really hard.. and i cannot imagine what would befall on me in the later years.
i seriously do not understand why am i so disappointed towards myself all of a sudden.. must be the nescafe..!

oh yea the next question on the form was...

HAVE U DONE ANYTHING TO ACHIEVE UR DREAM?

ahhhahahaha... seriously... if i wrote the boring-est word ever - ACCOUNTANT...in question 1.. then i def can answer the 2nd question. i wrote this for my q1..
event management or anything that would give me the experience of a lifetime.. photography is actually one of my favorites
pardon my english.. i sense something wrong here.. but dunno what..

so for q2 i wrote.. err.. no.. i am currently taking degree in accountancy.. so at least i have a base and can get accepted anywhere... hopefully.. =)

for q3,.. it asked "if u were given RM 30,000 by kickstart.. how would u spend it to kickstart ur dream.."... yea.. i think thats how the question goes...
i answered.. i would first invest in a high end SLR camera.. then start to build up my portfolio.

hehe anyway.. a coincidence!.. i just told my mum this morning.. that i thought of pursuing diploma in photography after my degree next yr.. she told me all sorts of disadv.. from.. cannot spend time with ur family bcos u'd b stuck under a pile of appointments.. to.. can see but cannot eat.. as in.. ppl eating abalone.. then u cannot eat cause u need to walk around taking pics. i was about to shot her back with.. CHIEW!.. I DON NEED TO WORK AS A PHOTOGRAPHER WAN MA. then i started to think to myself..
if like that i waste my time and money to study for what oh?!

so... event management or photography or whatever that makes ppl happy on their happy days.. is out from my future..

seriously.. i dunno why am i so embarrassed to say.. I WANT TO BE AN ACCOUNTANT...
when i think of the word accountant.. i think of.....

me.. working my ass off chasing numbers.. or play hide and seek with numbers.. and then my life would be very boring... my mind can only think straight dunno how to twist things around..

but seriously.. accountants are really more to life than that.. guess where the word CREATIVE accounting comes from!?.. hehe.. and i heard that.. those geeky-like accountants in one of the big 4 actually practises ONE NIGHT STANDS!.. ok.. so not interesting..

haih.. will not be updating till September 20th i think..
and i wont sleep at anytime earlier than 4 am until then too..
assignments sucks..

bwai.