Age Factor

get this..

leave me a comment if u have experienced this...
ur older siblings and cousins or friends talking to each other... then when u interrupt and ask them what are they talking about.. they say.. "none of your business", "u too young", "big ppl topic.. small ppl don kacau", "little girl (boy) cannot know!".. or any other similar phrases.

i am sure a LOOooooT of u experienced this.. cause i certainly have!...

but now.. surpassing the legal age limit... when i talk bout sex or other things that kids will not understand and kids interrupt me.. i cant help but saying those phrases above to them. but after blurting those out from my mouth.. i stop and think.. so familiar.. wasn't i in their shoes before?
and when i was their age... i cursed them!.. hate them!...calling them names.. "they think they very big issit?!" u think we all kids issit!?...

well now thinking back... hell yea was i really a kid!.. n i still remember myself wanting to strangle them for not understanding my feelings and understand that i actually understand things that they say... but of course i wasnt mature enough to think that i am not mature enough for them.. was i?.. yea.. this is the thing.. how can one know what they are doing is wrong when they are so obsessed with their 'correct' thinking. but still... like what ms. devika says.. there is no right or wrong... but i believe that there is such thing as... morally correct.

anyway... i still remember this story..

one weekend... 9 years ago... my mum's cousin and his wife and 2 boys from england came to Malaysia to visit us. and they stayed in our house for 3 days i think?..

Table of Ages
Me 10
Sister 14
Brother 19
Cousin 1 19
Cousin 2 17

SO... after dinner... my parents brought them to walk around bintang walk because that was the latest hot spot in town then.. our old mercedes couldnt fit 9 persons so my brother drove the other car fetching cousin1,2,sister... so as being the youngest of course i would want to join the young car rather than auntie uncle group.. but they shoo-ed me out.. saying.. "eh eh... we will talk things that u cannot hear.. u cannot join us... go join papa mama.. later u what happen mama come scold me.. GO!" so i had no choice.. i followed my parents.. i was sad!, unhappy!, full of hatred towards that car!.. at one point, our car was jus bside my bro's.. they were chatting happily and laughing hysterically there.. F THEM! i lagi boh song..

i don remember me acting like my brother to my younger cousins.. but i do know now... the cousin 1 really treat me like an adolescent now.. cause i am now his age then.. we chat about love and relationships.. not so much bout sex though.. but things tht he wouldnt chat with me 9 yrs back. i felt so good about it.. no one is treating me like i cant hear what they say anymore.. aside from my parents... :S... even if they wanna tell me.. i cant bear to hear!.. EEW!!

not to say i am fully mature.. cause i certainly havent.. and i am not ready to be fully mature.. cause i am still 19 and a student.. i still have the right to be childish and have fun!.. maybe when i go out to work, then i will clean up my act.. cause the world is SOOOO harsh out there..i cant afford to make any mistakes and yea.. a paradox in my thought... the reason why i am not responsible enough to finish my assignments on time and starting it a few weeks earlier and still being so lazy, slacking off whenever i can.. is bcos.. i am not mature yet, still not responsible enough to do what i am suppose to do, still waiting for ppl to come save me and feed me.. how to wake up when i am in my own lala land?.. i have think like an adult to undertake tasks assigned to me.. yes? no?..

but there is always one thing that we can never blame ppl older than us for not understanding us.
WE ARE ALWAYS YOUNGER THAN THEM, THEY ARE ALWAYS OLDER THAN US.
WHAT THEY HAVE GONE THROUGH WILL FOREVER BE MORE THAN US..

fathers will always treat us like little girls.. cause.. we are forever their little girls
mothers will always be worried of our safety cause... we are forever under her wings.. a human they went through so much pain to bring up and nurture.

my mum always scolds me for going out late at night... threatened to scold my friends whenever i ask her permission to go for vacation with friends. and when i ask her WHY?!.. she replies.. "BECAUSE I AM YOUR M-O-T-H-E-R!!"
how la the hell i would understand when u say this phrase when i havent been a mother?!...

but after some time.. i finally come to understand what she means..
she means.. i am worried of your safety... if anything happens to you.. what shall i do?.. i am not you.. i wouldnt know and understand how exactly do u act around boys?.. what if u get pregnant?.. what if u get rape.. and i will not understand how u think because you are FOREVER IMMATURE to ME!

a doctor once lectured my mum and i.. when my mum complained to him what a 'good' daughter i have been.. making her 'happy' all the time.. then as the youngest and most rebellious one.. i voiced up and argued back.. the doctor calmed us down and shoot both of us.. he asked me..

have u ever proved to your mum that u are old enough to act on your on?
have u ever showed to her that u are responsible enuff?
how do u talk to your mum usually?
how do u ask things from her?
have u ever called back when u are away and tell her that u are safe and sound?
little information does count.. u may think that she wouldnt care and is too busy to hear where u are and particularly your voice.. but.. if u do not know.. these things will make her worry less and know that u are safe.. ".. i kept quiet...

then he turned to my mum...

do u REALLY understand your daughter?
do u listen to her stories on friends, studies, college?
do u shut up her up when she tries to talk to u?
do u notice the good things that she does.. if she really did..?
do u say that she is wrong for everything she does and say?
maybe it is because of your controlling ways that your daughter does not even bother to tell you things or call you up..
and when she is away.. she thinks that she is out of your reign... so happy and free!!.. better not call u up later u spoil everything..

hehe.. i couldnt help but SMILE =)

after that meeting.. we tease each other about what the doctor says.. like "eh!!.. dont shut me up remember?!"

haha.. a child will never be in the position to tell their parents that they are wrong dont you think? it needs somebody from outside.. a professional that will conduct it in a good way to LIGHT them up..

ok la.. i am done... these are things that suddenly crossed my mind today.. bye!

ps: so sorry to boys who are reading this.. don think you all can really connect.. cause.. i am not a boy.. i wont understand.. =)